Tea Time W/ Noire Femme: Billboard Music Awards 2012 Review

Disclaimer: About an hour and 50 minutes of my life were taken last night and I’ll never get it back.

*Le Sigh*

Where do I begin?

I already knew going into this show, all I cared about was the Whitney Houston tribute and Stevie Wonder performing. There were rumors on twitter that Bobbi Kristina would actually be singing in the tribute!

But before we even get to that there was about an hour and 15 minutes of just crap.

Justin Beiber was one of the first to win an award and kept stuttering and stammering. Didn’t he just graduate? Boy, spit it out!

Lisa-Marie Pressly presented an award to Katy Perry in a blazer and night gown. I realized that she hasn’t been relevant since the “marriage” to Michael Jackson.

*pours liquor*

I don’t like Katy Perry but she looked divine last night.

The hosts were the couple from Modern Family. If you haven’t watched Modern Family… go plank in traffic.

But they were not funny at all last night, which was very surprising.

The British boys that sing that song…you know, that song! They “performed” and it made me miss the 90’s boy bands.

All they did was walk around and sing out of breath. What happened to coordinated dancing and screaming girls?

I blame Rihanna.

And then Miley Cyrus forgot her pants, wore her daddy’s white blazer from the 80’s and had boob jewelry.


Brandy looked fabulous in that fro’ and all it’s glory. *church stomps*

The eye make-up was too much though.

Natasha Bedingfield tried to pay homage to Donna Summers and got cut off by a commercial…rightfully so.

Chris Brown, Justin Beiber, and Usher all performed together. Oh wait…they didn’t, it was just the same thing that happened 3 times!

Bad enough Chris and Justin are doing the same thing but you’re too old for that Usher go and have a seat. Here \_.

At this point, I know this has been a bad life-decision, watching this show.

Katy Perry swagga jacks Pink’s cirque de soleil performance from 2010 and it sucks just like Katy Perry.

Finally! Whitney Tribute! John Legend was good. Jordin Sparks looked GORGEOUS! Easily best-dressed in my book…and she sounded good. Not great but good.

Damn I miss Whitney!

It was a good tribute, but I need more.

Bobbi Kristina is so strong, wrong dress, but so strong. If my mama died, I’d be in the fetal position in my bed for 6 months at least.

Everyone liked the Goodie Mob performance, but it made me realize that rappers should retire at the age of 40 when you wear all white track-suits and bedazzled trim.

Nelly Furtado is back and her body is the truth! I liked the song so I’m really excited. Been waiting 4 years for Nelly to come back.

The Stevie performance was good too. Alicia looked divine in all black, not feeling the hair though.

Someone said, “She stole that girls man and lost her voice. Karma.”

*Here lies Noire Femme. 1/27/1989-5/20/2012. Died of laughter, may she rest in peace*

The show sucked. Makes me sad for music. I’m actually hoping the BET awards will do Whitney justice. It’s sad when the BET awards are your last hope.

*Sips Tea*

Until next time America.

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Posted on May 21, 2012, in Blogs, Gossip, Music, News, Noire Femme, Tea Time and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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